“For years, our daughter’s struggles were viewed primarily as emotional concerns. We knew she was anxious and overwhelmed, but that explanation never seemed to account for everything we were seeing. She had previously been evaluated for autism, including with the ADOS-2, but autism was not identified. By middle school, we were still searching for an explanation that made sense of the whole picture.

Ms. Spates helped us look at our daughter through a different lens. She used rating scales and assessment tools designed to examine autism-related characteristics across both boys and girls and also considered something we had never really understood before—how effectively our daughter was masking her difficulties. She had become so good at observing others, adapting her behavior, and holding herself together in certain settings that many of her struggles were easy to miss from the outside.

The information we received helped us recognize patterns in her social communication, sensory experiences, relationships, and emotional regulation that finally made sense when considered together. It also helped us understand that some behaviors we had interpreted as purely emotional could be related to the enormous amount of effort she was putting into navigating situations that came more naturally to other kids.

Most importantly, we came away with a better understanding of our daughter, not a different daughter. We were able to bring much more specific information to her providers and school and advocate for supports that addressed what she was actually experiencing rather than only what other people could see. After years of wondering what we were missing, having someone recognize the complexity of how autism can present in girls was incredibly validating for our entire family.”